Dear Carter & Cadence,

First of all, don’t panic. This is not a lore drop, it’s just a Santa transparency update.

I couldn’t make it this year. Before you say “L Santa,” let me explain.

Now that you’re both old enough to know how the sleigh actually runs, I can finally let you in on the secret. I don’t work alone. Parents help. A lot. And this year your dad got hit with some unexpected side quests during the holiday season, so production was… not giving.

Also, minor mechanical issue. Reindeer 6 and 7 were out sick. Something with the cylinders. Long story. Think Mitsubishi 3000GT energy. Looks fast, sounds cool, but suddenly two cylinders are like nah fam. Whole operation starts misfiring. Total L.

I did briefly consider swapping them out for My Little Ponies, but HR said that was a branding issue and also deeply unserious.

So yeah. Between logistics, reindeer maintenance, and your dad fighting holiday chaos like a final boss, Santa had to hit pause this year. Not canceled, just buffering.

Important part. This is not an L for you.

• There will be random gifts.
• There will be surprise stuff.
• There will be outings.
• There may even be moments where you’re like “wait… is this Santa coded?”

Because it is. Lowkey.

Thanks for being understanding, chill, and generally passing the vibe check. You two are elite tier humans and absolutely on the Nice List, platinum subscription, no ads.

Stay cozy. Stay chaotic.
And please don’t tell the reindeer I blamed them.

🎅
Santa